No peep to my blog, no post to my gallery; surely forgotten by my handful of followers.
What a letdown.
But, please! Do not give up on me!
I promise I have not been slouching around, satisfied with my grades and all set with my goals. I swear I have been here all along, on a course of post-grad “adulting,” which I admit swept me up and into the workforce sooner than I ever imagined.
Two days after graduation, I landed a great position in the Art Production department of a nationally known local company. Anyone who has visited my web portfolio knows my love and talent for both written and visual communication. I am happy to have secured an opportunity to work in a commercial industry utilizing my artistic and rhetorical skills.
Always in the back of my mind, however, I still consider ideas for further educational and intercultural experience. I think about my endgame. Where I see myself in my retirement, in my twilight years, looking back on a career well founded and well built.
My next steps need be considered carefully, options are not endless, but they are diverse and interesting and, I believe, all potential leads to the same end – continuation of my studies in intercultural communications, bolstered by international experience in education. Decisions must come carefully; they must be grounded in purpose.
As of now, I consider myself having three options for my graduate studies…
Keep It Stateside – attend a local university part-time while working full time. It will take nearly four years and I could begin immediately with financial aid, which I will need, since my choices for an MA in communications will run me at least 40k.
Grad School Abroad – attend university full time while living in Europe. It would take only two years to complete my studies. However, although the courses are free, I would need to save roughly 20k before leaving to support myself.
Teach and Study Abroad – earn my TEFL (Teaching English as a Second Language) certification online to teach abroad immediately. Upfront capital is under 10k, and allows me to work and support myself while attending university part time.
Each carries its own pros and cons, but also its own levels of risk and commitment. I know saving several thousands of dollars will take years, making loans and local university slightly more appealing. Of course with that, I lose what I advocate most for: intercultural experience. Teaching English abroad while attending grad school seems the happy medium, but how difficult will balancing work with school be in a foreign country?
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…
This is where I leave you, for now; the research and soul searching continues.
I am so honored to have been selected from thousands of submissions for the 2016 American Institute for Foreign Study photo contest!
I, along with 19 other students, are now in the final round of the competition, where we depend on viewer votes to win. Please, head over to AIFS’ Instagram or Facebook pages to like, comment on, or share your favorite photos!
Even better if you choose to Like mine! Thank you all for your support, it is much appreciated!
Graduation is fast approaching, it is a time for transitions – within days I will complete my final assignments, say farewell to my professors, collect my awards, earn my degree, walk the walk, and pull out of the student parking lot one last time.
Just like that.
I do not spend too much time thinking about it, honestly. Maybe this is strange, but I already have my head wrapped up in what comes next -preoccupied with my future.
I am ready to work, eager to work. Freelance projects are in the the early stages, and I look forward to focus my attentions and talents on nonacademic assignments… for a while anyways.
The truth is, I have every intention of working my way through Graduate School, and I plan on doing this within the next few years. With interest in intercultural communications to bolster my value within the international education advocacy field, it behooves me to consider earning my degree abroad.
Yep, as in packing it up, cats and all, and heading to Europe to earn an education ten times more valuable and (hopefully) at a fraction of Stateside costs.
I would be gone two years, and maybe even forever.
While it sounds so at first glance, the more I consider it, the more I wonder if it is not the most reasonable idea for continued education and international experience.
The word “Invaluable” comes to mind.
Over the next few months, while I seek employment and work on freelance assignments, I will also begin seriously researching Graduate studies abroad. Reports and reflection, progress, and frustrations will all be documented here. If this site is going to live up to its Dodging Borders moniker, I best start blueprinting plans and making moves.
The months are piling by now, pushing my experience abroad further behind me. The long, cold, dark days of winter are ebbing into the fresh, chilly sunshine of spring, but my mind is still elsewhere; my mind is still there.
Returning to the University of Rhode Island for my senior semester was no easy feat. Perhaps the winter months added to the gloom, but I was not excited about returning to forty-five minute commutes and American courses dependent on “busy-work” rather than independent study, as I had in Austria. So much of my study abroad experience resonates with me still. There is so much to see and learn about the world outside of what we can see from within our own borders. I truly believe those who disagree only do so because they have never left. Once seen with their own eyes the benefits, differences, or even drawbacks of outside cultures, they will gain an unmatched, clear perspective of not only the world, but of their own culture and their own selves.
During this final semester of graduation preparation and portfolio curation, I have thought about my future very much, and with renewed vigor look to ways I can extend and continue my overseas experiences, whether by attending Graduate School or through my career (or both!). Before leaving for Austria, I expressed interests in international education, and I still am, except now my focus is more on advocating for study abroad and more students to spend time in cultures unfamiliar to them. The educational benefits go so far beyond what is in the classroom. While studying in Salzburg, I was assigned little to no “busy-work,” or homework, outside of weekly readings, which I was never quizzed or questioned about, but needed to know for papers and finals. With this system, I managed my own time and deadlines (without any handholding) and it was a great lesson in personal responsibility and time management. Some students handled this better than others did, but they still handled it. In America, daily assignments and handholding force an unrealistic dependence on the educators, and not enough personal responsibility on the students.
The greatest side benefit of academic independence and less busywork is the additional free time for student exploration. On weekends, my friends and I would hop on a train or bus to historic and cultural landmarks with our notebooks, readings, and flash cards to study for our classes. Not only was it comfortable, but it was affordable. I travelled to Dachau, Berlin, Prague, Vienna, and Venice …all while doing schoolwork. Once at these locations, I learned first-hand about the World Wars, the Holocaust, Classical music, Architecture, and European politics and culture. No amount of American homework could compare to the history I saw, heard, and felt while studying abroad.
No amount. None.
Since returning to the States, I have been following the news in Europe closely. It is a way I found to feel close to the land I am still a part of. I am also fortunate to remain in close contact with my friend and roommate in Austria. The world is growing closer every day, and the transition is anything but smooth. News of the continuing Refugee Crisis and strains between governments is disheartening, but not a deterrent. Perhaps in lieu of the recent attacks in Belgium this sounds too optimistic, but we must believe there is a future beyond the hate and the harm facing the world today. Europe may now be a hotbed of activity, but I cannot and will not let it dissuade me from my dreams or my purpose. I would not have advised any Europeans to avoid studying in the U.S. after 9/11 and I will not advise any Americans to avoid studying in Europe now.
Our problems do not disappear simply because we refuse to face them.
It is why I must spread the word and work in a field to expand, improve, and influence the students of our future. Conflicts and terror and misunderstanding are rife, and the best way to combat these issues are through experience and exposure, paving the way for communication and understanding.
Never miss an opportunity to live beyond your wildest dreams.
There really is no limit to the things I can say in support of studying abroad and international education. In the months since my return, I have been increasingly inspired to advocate every student take the opportunities and explore the world. Not only will you gain a perspective of outside culture, you will gain a new perspective of your own. It sounds cliche, but study abroad surpasses anything taught in classes and anything read in books. It must be seen and heard and felt to truly understand its impact on your life.
While I may not ever fully encapsulate and explain the magic, adventure, and marvel at living in a foreign country, I can do my best to inspire and share my experience in hopes of fostering yours.
Recently, I created a motivational video montage as part of my AIFS Global Scholar Program, and I wish now to share it with the WordPress world at large. Please visit YouTube to watch the video. The audio credit goes to Kevin Schmitz, for an excellent remix of Cecilia and the Satellite.
Additionally, right now there is a huge campaign underway encouraging more students to study abroad during their undergraduate career. If you are considering a semester or two overseas definitely check out the #GoStudyAbroad webpage, and apply for generous scholarships which will definitely help you make the most of your overseas experience!
My days and weekends are quiet now. My free time is no longer packed with detailed travel plans and exciting destinations. Every day is not an adventure; every day is just like every other day – empty. None of my friends are available to travel, they are all caught up in their busy routines as they were before I left. I miss having a group of friends around me willing and able to take off for a day or two –relatively cheaply- and visit new and exciting places. While I do have some friends expressing a want to do so, they share none of my urgency or enthusiasm. These days. the idea of getting together and just “hanging out” bores me to sleep.
In the meantime, I am a little surprised more of my friends and family are not calling me up and banging down my door to hear more stories about my time in Europe. Why are they not asking to see pictures? To watch videos? Maybe I would not be so bored “hanging out” if we spent more time talking about that four month long major life changing event in my life.
But what’s there to say?
When friends or family do ask to hear something, or how it was, or what happened, I find myself grasping for words, for stories, for examples, for answers. I can imagine my vacant stare while my mind whirls back in time over all the memories, the experiences, the moments, the places…. I get lost. I stumble over choices and fail to express myself convincingly or wholeheartedly to them. They will never know what it was. To me it was everything and to them it is nothing – It cannot be known through hearing but only felt though being.
Which is why every minute I have been home I feel so disconnected and distant from everybody. I am living in a surreal, dreamlike mood not grounded in either Austria or America, but disconnected from both physically, emotionally, and socially. It is as though my entirety has been divided between here and there: heart, soul, body, mind. I am everywhere and I am nowhere at once. My time abroad is distant and unreal while home is not yet reality. For now, I float between the two.
To overcome these dreadful re-entry challenges I must have patience; all matters resolve with time and tolerance. I knew my homecoming would be a challenge before going abroad so I am prepared for an onslaught of strange, uncomfortable transitions in the days and weeks immediately thereafter. The timing of my return during the onslaught of a cold winter causes a lot of preoccupation and hibernation among my friends and family. This will pass, and with the approach of Spring there will be new enthusiasm for interaction and adventure. By then, with a new semester, a new season, and a new routine, I will snap out of my post-abroad daze, landing once again in reality back home. With time, stories of my semester abroad will be told. There is no need to rush them or the emotions carried with them out all at once. In this way, I will truly never box my memories, but keep them on hand for relevance and reliving in the future.
I am now three weeks into my semester abroad in Austria, and I can confidently say life is finally –thankfully- settling into a routine. It sounds cliché, but the time really flies. It seems like only yesterday I lugged a hundred pounds of I-can’t-live-without-it luggage halfway across the world into a country I did not know, into surroundings I could not navigate with people I barely understand, but I am now here, I am settled, and I am ready to proclaim victory over my fears and concerns.
But it was not always so easy, so idyllic. To those of you reading this post in hopes of gaining understanding of what it entails to leave behind your home, your family, your friends, your pets, your towns, and your schools, I will not sugar coat. There was heartache. There were tears. There were profanities, and certainly, there were doubts.
I began my journey with an optional group excursion offered by my program, AIFS (the American Institute for Foreign Study), to London, England. I thought this would be an excellent place to begin my Austrian adventure since my ancestry is, aside from Austrian, English. However, this turned out to be one of the most exhausting weekends of my life. Jetlag was never overcome, and the miles I walked through London’s streets in a mere 36 hours put blisters on my feet I only this week fully recovered from. I did meet many of the people I would be studying with, but many of us were in the same position: We were tired, miserable, exhausted, nervous, stressed, and oh, did I mention tired? Truthfully, the weekend now seems a blur of sightseeing and deprivation, but I will save the details of this for another post, at another time…
Back to Austria.
After an unforgiving 3am wakeup call in London, my exhausted group boarded a plane headed for Munich, which eventually led to a bus taking us to our new home, Salzburg. Regretfully, the day was overcast with drizzling rain, the all too perfect-unperfect weather to match the mood. I had requested a home-stay, and only discovered on the bus I would not be placed in an Austrian home. I was devastated; months of planning, and all my packing, revolved around me living in someone else’s house. For whatever reason, AIFS withheld our housing information until our arrival, so only at the last minute was I made aware of my immediate future of unprepared-for dormitory living. My mood was as gloomy as the afternoon, and it showed no signs of getting better after a brief taxi ride from the city center to my new dorm.
The building -which shall remain nameless- was dark, rundown, and evidently unloved. Entering the lobby through an entrance overgrown with ivy? Weeds? Vines? All of the above? The wet odor of mold, mildew, and emptiness blasted my senses. If not for my exhaustion and my need to drag a hundred pounds of I-can’t-live-without-it luggage, I might have run screaming from the building at that very moment, but I held it together out of desperation and hope. Perhaps there was a mistake? A misunderstanding? Alas, I knocked on the office door and introduced myself to a pleasant woman, and sure enough, I was home.
Thankfully, there was an elevator, which whisked me efficiently to the top floor of the dorm. At the very end of the hall I found my room. Or most of it, in bits and pieces, anyway. The door was wide open, and I discovered a sparsely furnished, dusty space, with bare what-I-call bus-station bench twin size beds. My mini fridge was wide open, the shelves missing –but not totally so, it took me only a moment to find them freshly wiped down and perched upon and into my toilet. The bathroom light did not work, which was for the best, since the darkness kept me from spying the mold thriving in my shower until the next morning. I was grateful and thrilled to see I had a balcony, and with relief threw open the door to let in the fresh air. Unfortunately, this space was also neglected, as I was met with dirty lawn chairs, sun-bleached beer cans and overflowing, soaking wet ashtrays. My only respite was my view: the incredible sight of Festung HohenSalzburg, sitting mightily on its mountain. This famous and beautiful landmark was one of the attractions to lure me to this city, and now, it was my oasis, my reminder, my relief. Defeated and depleted, I sat on my bus-station bench bed and sobbed until I could sob no more.
The next day I was consumed by efforts to make better my stay. I spoke with the AIFS office, and thankfully they saw to it my accommodations were cleaned and repaired over the course of several days. My nights were lonely and uncomfortable. Without the internet, I was cut off from the outside world. My sleep suffered, a week into my stay I was lucky to be getting three hours a night, but always there and always steady was my oasis, my fortress high upon the hill. I learned others too had problems with their housing. They have no elevators, they require two minute showers, they are far from the city center, or they have tiny closet kitchens.
None boast a balcony. None have my views. None see my sunsets.
My Romantic nature was slowly building steam, gaining strength and revitalizing me. I hosted a group dinner for my new friends in my spacious kitchen and felt, for the first time in a week, happiness and contentment. Relationships formed buoyed me through my loneliness, and kept me afloat during long nights battling ancient Ethernet connections and moldy walls. I could not run and abandon my plans to study abroad, so I made the most of it.
It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Today, my dorm is still the hot spot for group dinners and social gatherings at sunset, although still boasting the same run-down and mildewed walls. A once unknown city is becoming all too familiar thanks to my oasis, my central beacon on the mountain. I learned my university is far closer to me than the home stay I once desperately desired. I am making friends in my dormitory, who, like me, find comradery in our unloved building.
Three weeks in, and the trials and tribulations of my first days are all but a memory. On weekends, I travel with friends to museums, castles, rivers, lakes, and towns. On weekdays, we attend classes. Coursework and homework distract me from the mold –which I hear will someday be removed- and life has become a comfortable routine of normalcy. I now have no regrets, except that I let myself be so overcome with grief those first few nights. Lesson learned: when in doubt, stand strong, and like Festung HohenSalzburg high on its mountain, you will never be conquered.
There is this sensation, a rumbling, no – the beginnings of a rumbling, the sensation of a tremble really, of excitement building. I can feel it somewhere behind my stomach but before my spine. A low roar; the longer I think of it the louder it gets. The louder the bigger, too. So big I feel my insides push out against my skin – or start to, and want to.
I am going to burst.
A week from tonight I leave for Europe. This morning I woke up knowing it was the Friday – the last Friday – before my departure. Things are starting to feel very real. A year’s work come down to a week, and there is still so much to do. The days get shorter and my lists get longer. Every day there is shopping, cleaning, prepping, laundry, packing…. writing, research, paperwork, phone calls. And now, I must make do with gulping over this bubble of excitement growing in the base of my throat.
It is a bittersweet notion, if you think too long about it, knowing the world as you know it is ending in exactly a week from tonight. Soon, I will be surrounded by strangers in a strange land. My Country, my state, my school, my home, my family, my friends, my cats, my comfort – gone. To prepare for the unfamiliar, I have been stocking up and gorging on all the familiar I can get my hands on. Making time to meet friends, say goodbye and set up Skype accounts, download music, watch movies, shop for overseas essentials, driving and dinners. Essentially, doing all the things I won’t be doing or can’t do while traveling and studying in Austria.
The best of the gorging has of course been the food. There are so many delicious things I will miss while away, and while I am sure there are yums just waiting to be discovered overseas, there is no harm in celebrating with my personal favorites while I still can. Between the anticipation and the food, it’s no wonder I feel like I will burst. Come to think of it, the food might be the only thing keeping this bubble of excitement from carrying me away altogether…
…Back to the food; being from the Ocean State, I have a strong connection to the sea and all the tasty creatures found there. Unfortunately, I have a feeling my residency in the foothills of the Austrian Alps will be devoid of my favorite seafood. To curb any future cravings my week has been filled with shrimp, mussels, oysters, calamari, quahogs, and steamers. Not such a bad way to pass mealtimes, if I do say so!
I wonder if Austrians have ever heard of quahogs and steamers, let alone eaten one. I also wonder what foods they have that I am unaware of. I am sure regionally and culturally there are menu items to hold special places in the locals’ hearts (and stomachs) just as the shellfish does in Rhody. Our quahog has become infamous as the official state shell (yes, that exists – since 1987) and television star (This too – Family Guy). Will Salzburg have anything to match the reputation of the quahog, in all its stuffie glory – or the steamer, in all its buttery goodness?
Goodbye family, goodbye friends, goodbye country. Goodbye to everything I know.
It’s almost hard to believe, after a year of researching, planning, and saving, the time has finally, really, come. So much preparation has gone into this upcoming semester in Austria: applications, essays, paperwork, forms, documents, identification, physical exams, emails, phone calls… the list goes on. Attending university abroad is not for the lazy or the unmotivated, that’s for sure. The process involves 100% dedication and commitment – before you even leave the country.
Time is closing in, and I am starting to consider those I will miss the most.
While I am confident I will easily keep in touch with family and friends through telephone, email, skype, and social media, I remain concerned for my cats. Thelma and Louise, calico sisters who never went more than a week without me. They cannot understand my absence, they cannot know I will return. There is no way for me to reassure them, and I feel more than a little guilty. My partners during those long nights studying for exams and writing papers – but not this semester. Hopefully, a counter full of the best treats money can buy will keep their spirits up while I am away.
Days are passing by, and I am starting to consider things I will miss the most.
Of all the amenities, of all the stuff, of all the materialistic things in my life, I am unashamed to admit it is my truck I will long for while away. My great, big, gas-guzzling, trailblazing, American SUV – my baby. From the beach to the mountains, riding solo or loaded with kids, the truck is essential to my life in the states. On a moment’s notice the hatch is up, the seats are down, and the mattress is ready for a night of camping under the stars. How typically American can I get? My truck goes everywhere I go – but not for long. Public transportation will be my new ride, the freedom of my truck and the open road nothing but a memory.